fractured

stars gathered and blanket the night, oh lord I have fallen deep out of sight, I wish to regain your faith, hate use to weigh on my shoulders, tormented from my past on certain days, on the others I beat myself out the flame, no desire in me, I've humiliated myself constantly so no there's nothing that you could do I haven't done, I've brushed it off my shoulders from the knives in my back, gathering the little interest I had, masking my human tendencies, gripping values to hold value would never be me, no desire to chase the girl, I'm fractured beyond meaning, leaning towards a sloth and gluttony, ima lose my way and be on the way, fall on my face, I would love to love not just make lust, but I told her I was done, she was the last one, this journey I take is cold, 4 years alone, my feet swollen from my quest, love is now something I can't ingest, I gave it time, but I'm still not over it, fear of loving when the motive ain't mutual, slowly braking from each individual, I'm not who I use to be, but maybe who I need to be.