for my grandma

late night talk with grandma sitting in the backyard she's smoking, I'm vaping this is peaceful I hate seeing her smoke because it hurts her lungs she hates seeing me vape because I'm too young for it but anyways, she tells me something "I like your scars not the fact that you have them but the fact that they're now just scars" it hurt me but it comforted me I know my self harm hurt her emotionally more than it hurt me physically I could see the pain in her eyes every time she saw my bandaged arms I still see pain when se sees my scars but there's less of it I'm getting better I'm quitting she's feeling better too because I don't hurt myself anymore