for Alex (suicide tw)

Before you left Your bitter heart sweetened like chocolate Melting in my mouth and pouring through my fingers A temporary embrace that I didn't understand Until it was gone When you left Your lovely, soulful, open mind Opened from the inside Decorating the back seat Of the car that they found you in Your body slumped against the rifle between your legs At least that's what I see Every time I close my eyes After you left The world became darker My soul became harder Every lesson you showed me went down the drain Our time, our love, appeared wasted in vain Your life must mean more than a memory But here I am, shallow and blind Still, your light infiltrates, pure love saturates Each hole in each heart of the ones left behind