finding a voice pt. 2

I don't want to die, but I'm terrified I might. No one else can save me. It's me who has to fight. But I still cannot talk, as it controls my mind, so I just keep on lying, leaving my friends behind. I cannot fight the voice, for it's far too strong, I don't know who I am without it. It's been in my head for too long. I'm trapped in my own head, but I know I must resist, for if I keep believing it, I will not to exist. No doctor is lying to me, no loved one wants me to die, but it is controlling me and making me constantly lie. I know the truth somewhere inside of me, and all I can do now is resist that voice daily. It's tough to fight the voice every single day. But I know it's best for me. I want to be okay. The road is long and winding, and the battle is uphill, but recovery is the only way out, as eating disorders can kill. I am myself again now, after many years, and while it is still present, I do not listen to its jeers. My life is for me to live, not to just survive. Beating my eating disorder was the only way to thrive. Recovery is possible. You can fight the voice. You can regain control. Recovery is your choice.