finding a voice pt. 1

I scream, yet I am not heard. I try to talk, but my mouth won't open. I am not myself anymore, but I can tell that to no one. It talks through my mouth And always shouts and screams. It tells me I'm not good enough and stamps on all my dreams. It tears me from my loved ones and rips their hearts in two, for they think that I'm dying, but it says that that's not true. They say I'm in denial, but it says there's nothing wrong, I'm so confused and lost. I feel like I don't belong. It's a part of me now. I know I'm never alone, for it's always there with me, even when I'm on my own. But life doesn't feel worth living, and I just want to cry. I want to be myself again, But it's too difficult to try. I let it control me now, as it has stuck to me. Although it lies to everyone, I know I can never be free. But as the months go by, I know that I'm growing weak, and at the rate I'm going, my future is looking bleak. My friends talk to me, and I just want to reply, but it tells them that I'm okay, and I know that it's a lie. I start to think that maybe everyone might have been right, but it tells me that they're lying, and I am filled with fright.