FINALY CLEAN

Its been a year since i swore i would never do that to myself, but at the same time it feels like yesterday. I still have flashbacks when the tears were running down my cheeks, holding a blade just inches away from my skin. With each cut i made, i told myself that i deserve this and much more and that i didnt tried hard enaugh. The blood running down my shoulder and the pain felt like freedom. The few minutes after felt like being high from all the freedom and i was eager for more. I tried to cut out the guilt and the thoughts that i could do more, but it never worked. Today, after 1 year 2 months and 21 days i can say that im finaly clean.