fictional

another night passes. I lie on the same bed, neglect the same food, scroll the same feeds. always avoiding . I reach out. touch wall. imagine the rough & tumble of you against me, forms melding & intertwining in moon- light. your citrus eyes catching the dim TV. you'd laugh. I think the thought alone keeps me up for hours. teeth glint, smile wide, arms soft and safe. I will die in this fantasy but. if I am to die at all the best way would be like this. having faith in the ghost of you. I don't want to know who I'd be without my faith in you.