Feeling the impossible

sometimes I feel like nothing ever goes my way like I always say the wrong thing do the wrong thing what is wrong with me it's like waking up feeling dead like the voice I speak the face I see isn't me imagine being in the house when no one understands you no one listens it's like you have to pretend to be okay pretend to feel Joy happy because it's what everyone expects of you I don't feel like me I don't act like me I don't know this person who am I supposed to be I can't silence the loudness