Feeling of grief

I never felt this feeling so strong so intense like I'm at the point where I know I want to actually die like most days I can't sleep I can't get back to the old me all I see is you and your body and that casket my chest feels so tight so small that I can't breathe sometimes I just want to believe you move to state to state The reality come back to the words I've heard he's gone he's dead why why me this isn't fair this wasn't supposed to happen it's the worst feeling To feel the memories are unbearable it feels as I'm alone like why why questioning the question I can say sorry as many times as possible or say come back but it's impossible you can't wake the undead all you can say is why sorry