false desire

I feel a deep false desire to abandon myself. A constant call to get away from everything and everyone. There's something in my mind that's asking me to do something I'll regret. I've always refused to let those thoughts go, although perhaps one day I won't be able to contain them any longer. Throwing my life away doesn't excite me, but something inside me tells me to do it. A few simple words could achieve what my mind so desperately craves. Half my brain begs me to act, the other half begs me to forget. There's no limbo, no space of clemency. I wander back and forth without knowing which one I should obey. There's never any mercy. I beg for mercy on my soul. I suffer for the end of the delirium of my being.