Fake Friends

Everything seems to be falling apart lately friends leave, people change, and people get hurt I'm so used to that lately and I hate that it's becoming a new normal for me sometimes you think you know a person and then they flip the switch and it seems like you never knew them at all you try so hard to do everything for everyone that you give no time for yourself and yet it's not enough I've been broken, shattered, and used by lots of people because I just want to fit in and for everyone to like me I never say no and I always do everything for everyone else and nothing for me and yet those same people betray me and stab me in the back I have never had real friends or true friends I don't even know what a real friend is I've only had myself and even then I don't think I know myself very well I wish for once someone would choose me I'd have someone true and meaningful and that I wouldn't have to be broke and used by them and that someone out there would actually be looking out for me I find myself wanting to give up on everything, everyone, and in life but I keep trying thinking things will be different and yet...they never are I just wish I could find something true