Eyes

I was fine I didn't have it, but didn't need it urgently. one particular night there I saw it. but why? why did I have to? Why did I have to see it? why now.? Im asking: is there no way out? Oh but pathetic me, please. even God turns his face away your mind is filled with the black feathers of the crow A crow? because it was his fault, that my dreams fell apart but... the pain.. I can't- I can't. I can't. I can't. I feel my heart folding in on itself I see it I see it the window to the underworld and I want to jump through it is it so wrong? that way I can forget the only way to forget. let me forget- why can't I forget.? it's hurting me. I feel the void spreading like ink in water there Is nothing left to save me now