Explaining my dipression

my depression is a shape shifter some day it’s as tiny as a toy firefly the next it’s a big stuffed bear the only thing is that this bear comes to life and comes hunting for me at night she says light a candle but I hate light perhaps that’s the problem so I try to get out the bed but all these voices hold me captive so I lay in the bed until it’s quiet inside my head “why aren’t you moving?” I say because I’m playing dead she says why? I say because anxiety won’t leave me alone she says who’s anxiety? depression answers he’s my friend anxiety says hi I’m a little shy I say no you’re not you almost made me take my life he says oh right then silence fills the room but silence isn’t peace, it’s just another costume my depression wears sometimes it’s a whisper, sometimes it’s a scream, sometimes it slips into my dreams and tells me the morning isn’t worth waking for. I argue back, I tell them I want more more than shadows, more than chains, more than this endless war inside my brain. But they laugh, they say, you’re ours, you’ve always been ours. And maybe they’re right, but still, I hold on tight, because even in the darkness I keep searching for a flicker of light.