Expectations ll

I know you want me to give a shit about my future but shoulda never see the Christmas lights Shoulda never texted you on Christmas but what you expect for me to just let go so easily I know everyone wants me to try my hardest what the hell do you think I've been doing everyday a battle with my subconscious just tryna stay conscious Cationous I wake up feeling nauseous All I hear is what you want you want me to be happy you want me to be just like you You want to censor me you think I'm depressing I guess that's what happens when you're depressed You don't want to hear my emotions say the way I feel is stupid I think You're kinda stupid cause now you want to know why I'm not smiling Smile laugh Be happy That's kinda a lot to ask of the guy who just tryed to kill himself right?