evil creature

why do you come out and abuse only me, in front of others others who are all doing fine others who can see fine, act fine without every action, being one of pain of uncertainty and unknown a pain all the more prone, for me I didn't ask to be like this I didn't ask for things to be like this and yet, to speak, to talk, I fall deeper what is this, and what could have been that each time, I lose, and I lose myself for why could I have allowed an evil creature, and a tainted mind to have come down to this