everything is falling apart

As unoriginal as that title can be my feelings are unmatched. They are bursting from everywhere. I want to put the music so loud that my ears bleed. Nothing will stop my feelings as they crack my skin to spill out spoiling my walls. I'm dissolving into my own nothingness. I try to collect every tissue of me left as I patch my skin up. Nothing does it. The strings crack one by one and I can't mend it. I can't cope with it. The boat that is myself sinks slowly. I begin to choke on my feelings. Drowning, I swim towards the surface with all my will. Deep down I see that my will is nothing. I belong at the bottom. I always belonged there and I tried to escape my condition but I failed. Like every damn time.