Every day

Every day i get up from my bed, get dressed, brush my hair, clean my teeth and wash my face. Every day i try eat breakfast, have a cup of tea, check my timetable and practice my smile in the mirror. Every day i wait for the bus and wonder how to stand when it arrives so i don't look weird, sit in the same seat near my friends, and look at the window to stare at my reflection. I notice small errors in my hair, my parting isn't right or it's gone frizzy. But i can't change it now. Everyday i walk off the bus, careful not to trip, i head to class, unpack my things, and my mask is put over my face. I consider my options: The 'quiet girl', the 'pick me girl', the 'nerd'. Every day i stare a screen, write mindlessly until my hand cramps, and cover my smile at lunch. All that practicing never pays off. Every day i go back home, eat dinner, talk about my day, go to clubs, then go back to bed. Every day i lay in bed as the worries flood back to me, did I act weird? Did i talk too much? Did i try too hard? Sometimes i feel as if im stuck in a loop. Every day the same all the time.