epilogue

I wish to die without fear without interruptions or my skin peeled while my blood still pumps eagerly don't let me observe my own demise. i wish to die without fear: as my body slowly rots with time, my eyes and flesh are scattered with grime the grass will finally feed from my rot i will be no more than a mere dot yet I shall not hear your cries; the heavy gasp of onlookers; or even the gurgling of my flesh under the hot sunlight. i wish to die without fear: pull the plug in a cold, white room with the birds chirping out my ajar window i shall be awake but not alive with my laboured breath slowing watch my chest rise for a final time and feel my hand slowly disintegrate. i wish to die without fear: may it come unexpected with a grain of salt and pepper, my identity lost to the fragments of time memories merely slipping by. i wish to die without fear: with no letter or goodbye note, fifteen convenient stabs or cuts that don't even match my own strength. i wish to die without fear: only with unbearable pain, let it be a car or an uncoming train, that I could never comprehend. the only thing i wish for, if i can ever wish at all, is to die with an unaware mind to a sudden stop.