Empty screen

3:07 a.m. My brain is rotting, overthinking again. The pressure of growing up, it’s supposed to be exciting, right? They said I should be happy: I’ll work, make money, buy what I want, live how I want. But how can I think of that when everything feels like it’s decaying under the weight of expectations? What if I never find a good job? I wanted to be something else, but my need to please everyone turned me into a computer brainrot. Four years of staring at screens, learning nothing but how it feels to watch your own colors fade. How do you keep learning something when it was never your passion? Sometimes I feel their sacrifices collecting dust on my shoulders. I’m here, trying to figure out how to make it all worth something, because I can’t see myself in the future becoming someone whose mind is rotting from computers and code. Is this normal? Or is this just part of growing up? Growing up feels like your eyes are forced open wider and wider, until you see every crack in the world, until you understand that life is made of sacrifices and choices that slowly eat at your soul.