empty cup pouring

What I lack is what I give. I say that because I was never shown as a kid what a stable relationship is supposed to look like. I have yet to experience someone loving me like I were special in the type of way no one else could possibly be, which is why I'm always so desperate to treat someone that way but I don't choose the right person, or I do, just not at the right time. I rush to adore someone because that's what I've been coveting for so long, for someone to indulge in. But saying such things has become out-cast so much that I dare not say it aloud so I write poetry instead, because the words within the lines of these poems are not just my thoughts but also what my soul aches to say at night when I'm all alone and my mind takes over.