Emotional Sickness

Him My heart aches for him , An ache like no other , The sick overwhelming nervousness feels like I'll throw up when I hear her name , I really Really Really hope He doesn't play her game , My heart hurts when I hear what she did , and his incapability to tell her to stop it , or tell her wife , My heart aches when I see them laughing together, and my heart aches when I see him text but hide his screen , I want to cry into his arms , and tell him I know . But he lied to me once , so how many times has he done it before? My heart aches when I see him smiling and secretively laughing with her , I know he allowed it , I know he "talks" with her , I feel nauseous and I want to just stop eating completely, see if he notices that his actions are so beneath him , I wonder if he noticed my new found scars. And that I'd rather let him hurt me , than my heart.