Dumb

Jaw clenched Eyes wide Pupils dilated Sleepless nights Uncomfortable days To get so high Only to feel so low It has never made sense to me Yet I continue to bring myself right back to this feeling So overwhelmed and sensitive But completely emotionless at the same time Self hatred and disgust Yet also self aware and content Crying one minute Numb the next Always an absolute train wreck All aboard the hot mess express why do I do this to myself?