Drowning

I feel like I've spent most of my life learning how to read others emotions so much so that I don't even know how to read my own My emotions act up and my mind becomes crowded and this overwhelming fear that ill stop breathing. I feel my mind break. Not literally but not emotionally either. Its kind of hard to describe it. I get this weight on my chest that just pulls me under and the drowning makes me suffer. I've never learned to depend on others because they have always depended on me.