drowning

When the whole world is asleep, I start yearning for the awake. an unatteignable connexion. My clawlike thoughts scratch my heart to find it deep within me. Maybe just maybe I can swim by myself? I start suffocating. I can't swim. I raise my head to the world to take a breath and scream for help. no anwser. Of course! I shouldn't interrupt their existence to justify my own. Help didn't rescue me. . I plummet into the night Sink half of the day in sleep so I can stay afloat. why is getting up a battle. why is falling asleep so hard. what am I thirsty for when I am already drowning in water.