drop dead

I wished and hoped that I'd drop dead. That every thought that I had would spill from my head and water the grass and the plants and flowers. I wished that my words were like rain and not weed killer, I wanted them to bring life, but they dropped dead, killing the plants and the grass and the beautiful flowers that brought colour. I wished and hoped that id drop dead but if i did then the thoughts i never said would make the plants drop dead.