Drawing Our Heart

I AM this perfect picture, an image that's repulsive. In between my heart and shield your eyes from me. At the end of this brushstroke is anxiety impulsive. Corrosion of my heart dissolves any foreseen possibility A portrait of perfection, only flawless by my lies Have I ever drawn the courage that makes sure all fear dies? Trembling within the lines This was always truly mine... You'll never know how deeply I have held This regret that is the tragedy I couldn't foretell The life and future I had known was the truth Crumbles before me, all comes unglued There's no greater terror, no more intense hurt If I could sleep it away with naps in the dirt When total abandonment is the best to consider The commitment to grow has become the incentive to wither My heart was in you, it's like an aching hole in my chest This is an empty apathy that can't be truly expressed The capacity for understanding is only in fewer words I'll eventually not care, in the meantime it fucking hurts...it really really... Just a little less than the last reasons for me to give It gets really hard to care when I can't seem to want to live I used to know without a doubt, that which I treasured the most Manifestation of my ever