don't feel

They call me heartless, a hollow thing, A girl with a smile that doesn’t mean a thing. I watch, I learn, I play along, But never do I truly belong. I see love like a foreign tongue, A language I was never young Enough to understand or speak— I fake it well, but I am weak. You touch my hand, I pull away, Not out of fear, I just know That if I try, if I let you in, You’ll see there’s nothing beneath my skin. I watch you cry, but I don’t break, I know the right words I should say. I trace your pain with quiet eyes, But deep inside, I feel nothing rise. I’ve searched for it, I swear I have, That aching thing, that love you grasp. But all I hold is empty air, A hollow chest, a vacant stare. I’ve hurt the ones who swore they’d stay, Watched them crumble, walk away. I should regret, I should feel shame, But I just watch and don’t explain. Not a monster, not a ghost, Just a girl who feels the most When power sings beneath my skin, When winning is my only sin. And yet, at night, when no one sees, I wonder what is wrong with me. Not sadness, no—not quite despair, Just the echo of a love not there. I wish I could love, I wish I could feel, I wish I could make something real. But wishes are for those who dream