Do i really deserve this?

All the of the pain I'm feeling right now deep down in my mental well-being i guess time will tell when I'll cool down i could prolly tell i don't deserve to be happy why can't i be happy too just can't tell I guess I'll never know when I'll be okay sometimes i feel like giving up man the pressure be getting high each day i guess that's what life got in store for me but there's a question I've been asking my self do i really deserve this? i mean can't i just relax Just relaxing and having a moment to enjoy no ovrerthinking no nothing but just me me myself and I i also deserve to be treated like everyone else just don't wanna left out It hurts pretty bad but I'm still here...........(sigh) not sure for how long cause a fake my feelings when will ever open up?soon or never i hope i decide soon i hope soon never comes even if it comes i hope to not be here everyone fake lately and greedy i got me and everyone who consider me people who are considerate of how i am but i can't tell if they here or there i once yelled my lungs out to call out everyone yelling so much "is there any who cares for me" guess what,the echo was so loud it broke me It was so loud like an empty room im hurt