do I hate you?

should I or shouldn't I? you're confusing and you hurt me badly god, I even cried for you and you still haven't noticed I've been getting mad at you for little reasons and when you ask I can never tell you everything just a little part that isn't the real reason why you hurt so bad you seem to understand that but still you don't seem to understand everything at all I've been told a few things things that killed the little hope that was left now I'm just standing there not knowing where to go or what to do with this new thing you awoke in me I don't deserve this, this shouldn't be happening at all and still I'm here with my broken hopes and illusions you're a man after all, how you'll understand? and I wanna scream at you, poke your eyes out how did you manage to affect me like this? I hate you when I'm alone but when I'm with you... only God knows how I forget about everything and then you just make it worse, little by little I don't want this, I need to fight it and even less I want to let you know that a little piece of my mind belongs to you