disconnected from life

I'm disconnected from so much that I don't know from what. I check the time twenty times a minute. I suspect I'm dreaming, that life has stopped, even though everything keeps moving. I begin to choke, doubting reality. A light cough comes from my throat. I must clear it again, I've done it too much; I begin to choke. My eyes water, and my larynx clogs. I lie down with heavy eyelids, my eyes half-closed, I follow orders to keep them open. I fade away, staring at the white ceiling. Abandoning my subtle breathing.