Derealization

Some days I've taken the backseat in my own life no longer living it pieces of myself blurred and chipped not recognizing the face staring back at me in the mirror staring into the unknown with nothing but hollow thoughts I no longer feel the sense of danger or thrill somehow all the meaning and color in the world drained no longer inclined to put forth effort everything feels off I'm merely a spectator watching the world pass by as I inevitably fade these feelings don't feel real enough to be feelings more of an itch that can never be reached I don't exist do I?