Depression 😢

Yesterday till night I was trying not to care anymore So at night, I closed every door And where people rest and snore I made my pillow wet with my tears Tightly closing my eyes and facing all these fears I slept for only 2 hours that night Despite my continuous sleep fight I have to make this right But I don't know how I over love you, I know that now You never got to know the efforts we put in But maybe you don't wanna know I don't have any doubts or bad wishes against you Instead I wanna "Thank You!" Thank you to the man who taught me self care Even when you didn't know You have this strong impact on me which I can't seem to let you go Maybe you were here to teach me a lesson Maybe you were for me a blessin'. But you know these filial issues Can't be solved so easily even if I use a thousand tissues But maybe I never judged my feelings properly Maybe it was never love just the thought of you having me The idea of love, a fantasy But still why does letting go still feel so powerfully painful and strong? Like I knew about your carelessness all along?