deep & shallow waters

“I hold a deep hate for myself in the most shallow part of my waters.” . . . I've told myself I had to float, Since I don't know how to swim. I might drown in my own insecurities And hate my reflection year after year. I've tried to learn how to swim, But the waves kept crashing down on me. I hate the shore—and the people. They only love my shining pearls. I gave them everything they wanted, But all I received was nothing. I am tired of pretending the water is calm, When there’s a raging whirlpool underneath. The madness of the water drowns me; I can’t feel my breath — I’m falling from it. My face is messy, like a newborn cyclone; My hair, like tidal waves. I watch the shore from a distance, And I realize, for a moment… “Would a pretty face make it feel better?”