December 31st.

I almost drowned that night. I held my head under the water. I wasn't thinking. I subconsciously did it. I don't know what stopped me. Maybe it was the muffled sound of laughter? Or the uncomfortable feeling of water slowly filling my lungs. But I couldn't do it. And it hurts knowing I could have died and didn't. Maybe it was for the better? But the what if's still plague my mind. What a wonderful way to start off the year...