December 17th, 2011

We shared the same bed but the blankets never kept us warm. You aimed your glock to my head as we slept. Locked & loaded with harsh words; verbal abuse became the only language we seemed to understand. In a room full of empty chairs, you sat 4 seats away from me. I gaze into a ancient dingy mirror and see myself from another time and realize not much has changed. As we age, we mature. We grow wiser. We tend to learn from our false moves and take the right steps forward. But i am at a standstill. An involuntary mental prison i have put myself in. I carved your name onto my heart and asked you to spit on it at an attempt to feel something. Anything. At. All. Idle tongues are the garrulous mans kryptonite. Your actions spoke worse than your words. We played both the victims and the villains in our toxic affair. Plaster saints, we shamefully wore our titles well. Spiteful. Disgusted. Distant. Vexed. These words became the only way we could construe our feelings. My mind longs for you but my heart repels the memories. Ill write your name on the back of my eyelids to promise myself to never dream but ill stain your voice into my brain to help me sleep. Goodbye. Sincerely, your favorite mistake.