death of suicide thoughts

I close my eyes and dream about death. Cause I'm living in a dark place. A place I hide my pain and wounds. My wounds are so deep they cut like a knife. My soul is so broken . My mind keeps playing pain over and over in my head.. I was just three years old when I saw you laying on the floor with a cut of the wrist. Why would you let me see that now I am so broken inside. worrying why you want to leave me.