death

it is an indescribable feeling watching someone kill themself watching the panic fall their eyes feeling the panic fall your chest them asking you to stop helping do not call an ambulance do not feed me that water do not empty my stomach them throwing up the disinfectant on your neighbours lawn. alive telling school they cannot come in. personal telling work they cannot come in. personal they are alive. you are a kid throwing up vodka in the toilet you must look in their eyes again