Deatbed

What would I say if I knew I was going to die? Tonight or tomorrow, what is it would I do? Would those I love cry? My life will I Review? I feel sometimes as if I'm lost Perhaps inside I'm already dead My heart and soul cold as frost Am I already in my deathbed Will the voices ever drown The judgements killed Will we ever dethrone the crown Are all lives unfulfilled Am I selfish? Have I become the monster? I seem to have a death wish Lost and gone the odds were What's wrong with me I hate myself so Ny heart feels so empty Someone please deliver the death blow Self loathing and pity is this Pitiful and pathetic it is Must reach out from this tangled mess This grief and pain I must undress I hope I can escape my hate This world I cannot always blame On my shoulder will I bear this weight And learn to live with my shame Maybe there is light in my darkness Shining through my heart and soul Maybe I should dull my knife from it's sharpness For not all is under my control If I knew I was going to die, I'd say to live Tonight or Tomorrow, I'd love Those I love my heart I give Do not weep for my mourning dove