Dear Me

Dear younger me you didn't get a childhood you got chaos in waves you got moods that shifted like weather a home that never felt safe and parents whose love came second to something they poured in a glass or put into their veins you learned how to read a room before reading a book you memorized footsteps tone changes the smell of alcohol and the sound of slurred apologies you became the adult the fixer th forgotten the one who tucked yourself if at night while they chased what numbed them most deep down you wondered if you were the reason that maybe just maybe you weren't enough to make them stop you carried their pain in your bones their decisions in your nervous system their absence in the way you love, trust, and hold yourself together but it was never your fault you were just a kid a kid who deserved peace a kid who deserved parents who chose you a kid who deserved to be a kid but you made it you survived it's okay to feel something sacred was stolen because it was it's okay to grieve what you never got but you are not broken you are not unworthy you are not doomed to repeat their story you are the ending they never reached and that's something to be proud of.