dear me

I like my coffee extra strong but as a child I use to hate the smell of it alone I love the dark but as a child I use to cry to sleep with the lights on I hate being outside but as a child I could play hours in the fields my parents say I changed but I remind them it's part of growing up even tho I crave being a child more than anything but still I use growing up as an excuse to run away from my pain reality drinking extra coffee makes me fall less asleep cause I am scared of the demons in my dreams loving dark makes me realize it's the only thing that can comfort me being inside means no pretending to be the happy chappy I am not using "part of growing up" as a excuse makes me wanna be less a child and more of a grown up but the strong coffee taste like the womb i came from the darkness makes me more heartless and being indoors makes me crave things I once loved