Dear father

As a father. I sit and wonder. How my father. Didn't bother. To love me better. Was i harder? I do ponder. For I love my boys. Like no other. They play with their toys. With laughter. They fill my heart with joy. I see their mother. The best parts of her. I see myself as well. Yet I sit and dwell. My memories are filled. With so many tales. Of a father from hell. I could never hurt them. To me they are everything. Was I different then? Did you not look upon me the same? Were you ever ashamed? For all those times. You made me cry. The fury in those eyes. Would scare me. And I would hide. My boys will not look upon me. With fear in their eyes. They will see. A father who's worthy. Of the love they give me. When you died. A tear was not shed. I said all that needed to be said. I was there on your last day. Watched as death took you away. And with it the apology I'll never get. But I won't fret. I live with many regrets. I'll take the next step. Focus on my son's. For they are the ones. Who showed me how love can be strong.