dear diary this is my irony

dear diary, dear diary I've been searching for a higher me I'm in the sky, in the pilots seat, trying to stop my mind from spiraling and that irony that's irony I'm just looking for a resolution I just want to be a better human but it's hard when everyone is acting stupid pardon me if that came of rude, I just have a bad attitude with the world and not just with you it's the side affects of abuse I admit I'm a little strange I don't think that Ill ever change I survived a whole life of pain you could say I escaped my fate dear diary, dear diary I just had another wild dream I was in a world that admired me and when I woke up I was smiling and that's irony thats irony you talk a lot, but you don't even know me I'm just hoping that me testimony will inspire y'all to stop acting phony pardon me if that came of weird I don't mean to be mean I swear I have been through a lot this year I just want to make a few things clear I don't like it when people hate behind my back Nd not to my face nowadays it feels so fake so I'll cut the grass so expose the snakes