days

when I wake in the morning I wish I hadn't as if it was torture I drag myself out if the bed I wish I could never leave I see donuts on the counter although I told myself not to I pick one up and take a bite that was enough and sense it was sweet I won't eat anything else today I go put on a hoodie and some pants to hide my horrible scars I will do my makeup to distract on comers from my stomach and why I'm wearing long sleeves in 80 degree weather some still ask and I will bat my eyes at them in hope for a "beautiful" distraction if they pry I say I'm cold and walk away before they can ask anything else I use my face to an advantage because others seem to find it beautiful but I never do others see a kind and pretty girl but I see a ugly monster with a broken heart why? after a long day I will go home to ignore my worried family and I will take off my long sleeves feeling a breeze of cool for the first time today I will then climb into my bed and slice at my body until I fall asleep until I have to wake up in the morning and repeat it all again