Darkness of my mind

I just wanna feel happiness instead of this fake smile; they say that I'll never truly be; because I wanna die it's so out of style; for I don't wanna be me; I might have falling so far from grace; you may forever know me as the devil; and fell out of heavens gates; for at least I'm on my own level; I loved them with all of my heart; I've been to heaven and I've been to hell; they left me for my best friend and tore me apart; for that's all I have no not tell; you may forever call me a liar; I've seen every one of the gods; for I'mma die in the great fire; I defied all the odds ;