Daily Grind

I feel like I'm standing still. Can't seem to get my fill. In a dream I lose my will. Movement all around me but I'm on the same keel. There's no making me feel. I think about my life and wonder what's my deal? Most days I can't get motivated. I lose track of what I'm saying. I need to get some help. I need to be medicated. I look around at others and it seems surreal. I'm just down on my luck having a pity party. But I'm the only one invited. Ever felt like it's hard to get excited? I've been desensitized to this thing called life. Proberly from experiencing too much strife. Come to think about it, I haven't even made a good wIfe. I have nothing to live for and nothing to gain. Everything is fake except for the pain. Ask me in a few minutes I'll still feel the same. Life is hard and time is unforgiving. I want to get off this ride so I'm seeing. But somehow I find the strength to survive. I've been threw so much. I can't keep on giving. I'm on empty it seems. Or is this all real or am I dreaming? I pinch myself to feel I'm alive. The thoughts in my head span out for miles. Here I go again making myself smile. I can do this in spite of my past. I hope I can find a way to last. The struggle is real.