cycle of hell

some part of me want to keep this cycle going some part of me is begging for this pain to continue and even though is breaking and cracking my fragile bones but some part of me loves it and begs for more this part of me is the strongest part of me that I have left and I can't let her go she clings to me like a sticky black tar oh she loves the pain the causes her hoast as she beggs for more more more she rips and tears me from with In filling my lungs with tar and my organs with black goo she's filling my mind with images of who? oh of who I once was oh what a beautiful sight a girl with pride a girl with grace a good kid who got good grades oh who is she who am I oh it's been to long I can't say goodbye she was beautiful she was me now look how she turned out to be what a disgrace what a mistake oh how so easy it would be to replace she that child who controls me so is angry I broke all our rules from so long ago the promises we had made to our selfs and now she vows to make my every waking day a living hell