Count down

As I am here, count down my birthday. I am a reflection of my life. It took me half centuries to figure out what I wanted in life. I have wasted my time full of regard. Scare to be me. I was putting myself last. I was worried about what people thought. When I write, I always wonder if I have what it takes. To be the best part of me. Will people judge me for doing what I love? Or is there know something I don't know? I don't have all the answers, but when I do, I am sure. I know what I am doing. But I constantly second-guess myself. When my birthday got close to my dreams, it gave me a weird feeling. I can say I am getting excited. Because what I couldn't do before, now I am doing it. One story as time. Life has given me the tools. I hope I know how to use it. Just pick up a pen and write with an open mind. But here come natively play with my mind. I heard a voice, and it said, you are not good enough to be your best. But my heart is open to expressing myself. I don't want to let myself down. This is my dream. To take a piece of me and write something beautiful. An amount that no one sees. Trying not to douth myself. Happiness is not in my vocabulary. I am cursed for all my wrongs. Or do I lie to myself? The voi