control

wondering eyes questioning glances concerned expressions the world use to see me as a threat now, now they treat me has if I'm not a loaded gun patience I wait watching as there once cold eyes soften towards me confusing washes over me I'm not who I was, am I? it still lingers a moments and notice it's there good, bad what am I some say good some say bad if actions define us I'm not good nor bad if intensions define us I'm not good nor bad if thoughts define us I'm a horrible person I've thought of killing myself I've thought of killing others haven't we all? so why does this make me bad it doesn't it makes me strong self control a thing many lack at times I do to yet I regain it never give the power of self control away