Confidence Destroyed

My Wall of Confidence now in a pile of rubble, destroyed over time. Barraged with thousands of cannonballs with "Ugly" and "Disgusting" carved into them, watch it crumble to pieces. Now trying to rebuild, but week after week of disgusted looks and hits of rejection, makes me exhausted and lose ambition. Trying to rebuild, but there's too many knives in my back, makes me lose focus. Now with self-loathing, the rubble that once was the Wall of Confidence, remains just rubble.