comfort is a crime

I couldn't ask for help I feel like it's a crime the voice inside my head tells me- can't you even bear it, what are you even capable of, why are you so dramatic, why are you so sensitive, why do you have to be over expressive, why are you selfish, why do you create drama, why do you don't care about everyone's life, why are you always negative, why are you such a bad person- so I just kind of hate myself and I just want to endure it all alone but it's heavy it's brutally heavy I'm not fine I want to cry for help but I don't think I will ever because I feel, at least for me- asking for comfort is a crime